Happy Easter!


A friend of mine just sent this to me, and I cracked up. It's apparently from reverendfun.com, so make sure to go visit that site and buy stuff in order to relieve my conscience of this blatant copyright infringement. ;-)

So silly. And yet - so amazing. This guy's been practicing this for 37 years. I'd say he has it down.

From The Onion 3 years ago:

Bush on North Korea: 'We Must Invade Iraq'

WASHINGTON, DC—With concern over North Korea's nuclear capabilities growing, President Bush reassured the American people Monday that "extreme force" will be used to remove Saddam Hussein from power if the Iraqi president fails to give up suspected weapons of mass destruction.

Check out the article for more satire goodness. :)

This is so wrong on so many different levels:

It's an "Intelligent Design vs. Evolution" board game. But hey - it's presented by Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, so it can't be bad, can it?

Although I do have to say it looks very chic and professional, as far as Christian board games go. I wonder if that Christian board game patent from back a while ago...evolved...into this one. (ba-dum, ching)

I find no words to describe my utter amusement.

Tah's phunnie:

Evangelism Linebacker - he'll bust yo' ass if you don' get evangelizin'. Thanks to Claudia, for the heads up.



And second, I stumbled upon this silly, silly Colbert piece: Stephen Colbert has a dreamsicle.

One of the strangest pieces of news this month was that Shaquille O'Neal was a part of a child porn raid team last month which ended up a disaster because they hit the wrong house, finding nothing. They ended up raiding the place of some poor family who had absolutely nothing to do with child porn. Shaq himself apparently is actually a sheriff in the off season. I'm serious - you can't make this stuff up.

Now, that has got to be the most surreal experience ever - the doorbell rings, you go and open it and look up and see Shaq in all his 7 ft 1 inch glory, behind him a troop of special police. And to top things off, he says in his deep voice, "We have a search warrant because you're suspected to be involved in a child porn ring." I mean, that would be a weird and surreal dream, but it actually happening is goes beyond simple weirdness. :)

Check out an article or simply Google "Shaq" on news.google.com.

Quote of the day: "I ain't flat, the band's sharp." - Robbie Williams in the background of one of his songs. (As a joke of course)

Just some random Google goodness - have you ever wondered how many teaspoons are in a cubic light year? I sure know I have.

And now I have the answer, thanks to the wonder of Google. Thank you, Google, for total information overload.

This last weekend we went to "Calling All Nations", an all-day worship concert in the Olympia Stadium with tons and tons of different bands like Delirious, Noel Richards, Matt Redman, Graham Kendrick, Brian Doerksen, etc. etc.

It was really a great time, there were about 25,000 people there, probably about 80% of them under 30. The whole thing was ever so slightly Pentecostal, just enough to notice but not so much as to be totally weird. ;)


The funniest thing that happened was Joshua' reaction to when a wave was going around the stadium. He'd look all astounded when the wave passed us, and then 5-10 seconds after it was further along the stadium, he'd raise his hands and go "yaaay!". He did that every single time the wave passed us, it was very funny.



Here's a picture of him really getting into it - notice where everyone is looking: that's where the wave was at that point. ;)

Hehehe, tah's funny:

"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, what did you think of the play?"

Just something random we noticed today at work: female singers from the 30s don't seem to smile in pictures. Do a Google Image search for "Zarah Leander" (one of the more famous German singers of the time..."Kann denn Liebe Sünde sein") and you'll see tons of pictures like this:
Well, guess who else doesn't smile in pictures? Oh-so-cool hip hop people, that's who. Do a Google Image search for "Snoop", and you'll see pictures like this:


Anyone notice any resemblances? :)

Yes, this is the week of funny videos:

I've posted a lot of stuff I thought was funny from Noel's site before, but this is by far the funniest thing he's ever posted. And it's not even from him originally. :)



I'll have to see if I can get this into our Easter service somehow. ;)

Hehe, this is teh funny:
Wired News: Give Grumpy Gamers What They Want

I know you rip off all your ideas, you know you rip off all your ideas, so let's get down to it: Rip off the Grav Gun from Half-Life 2. I just got a chance to try out Half-Life 2: Deathmatch and it was not only like finding God, it was like finding God in an inexpensive but excellent Asian-food restaurant that always has a table open. Now I require the ability to throw a toilet at my enemies in every single video game in existence, including the Bible quiz games. Especially Bible quiz games.

This is funny, especially if you've played text adventures before.

Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure

Oh, and note that I am able to laugh heartily about jokes I don't completely agree with.

Hahaha.

From the same page (wow I'm impressed they put this on there!):
Over Three Hundred Disproofs of God's existence.
Just as humorous:

ARGUMENT FROM BESTSELLERDOM

1. The Bible is the best-selling work in history.
2. Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's the Word of God.
3. And there's plenty of evidence to suggest it's not.
4. [Sound of theist squirting milk out his nose]
5. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT

1. Check out the world/universe/giraffe. Isn't it complex?
2. Evolution (aka random chance) is a good enough explanation for me how they became so complex.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL ABILITY

1. I lifted a car off my trapped puppy.
2. I did that without God.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM DENTAL OPPORTUNITY

1. Bite me.
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.

ARGUMENT FROM DENTAL OPPORTUNITY, ACCEPTED

1. Bite me.
2. OW! YOU BIT ME!
3. I'm being persecuted!!
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist!

Over Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence

Very humorous.

ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF
(1) If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
(2) I believe in God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY
(1) Eric Clapton is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.

This is hilarious (and slightly...sad):

via BoingBoing, via Godlorica.

United States Patent Application
20050212207

Abstract
A game board apparatus having a game board horizontally divided into two sectors representing heaven and hell. The start position is at the bottom of the hell and the finish winning position is situated at the top of the heaven. The players use playing pieces to traverse spaces in the heaven and hell sectors, the amount of advancement being dictated by indicia provided on decks of question cards and answer cards.

The idea is wild enough, but the best part are the question cards which decide which direction you go on the board:

Would you make a deal with Satan?
Yes: Remain on spot. No: Advance 5 spaces.

Do you lie?
Yes: Remain on the spot. No: Advance 10 spaces.

Are you a drug user?
Yes: Go back 4 spaces. No: Advance 4 spaces.

Do you like pornography?
Yes: Go back 4 spaces. No: Advance 8 spaces.

Do you believe money is more important than your personal salvation?
Yes: Go back 11 spaces. No: Advance 11 spaces.

Do you follow God's word?
Yes: Advance 7 spaces. No: Go back to hell or satan green star.

It goes ON and ON like that - 80 questions in all. I am laughing so hard right now it hurts.

OK, and here's the REAL irony of it all: Question 8 of the "Hell Cards":

Do you think being a good person will keep you from going to hell?
Yes: Go back 3 spaces. No: Advance 7 spaces.

---

Edit:

I just can't get over this. After reading for a few more minutes, here are a couple more of my favorite questions and their consequences:

Are you an atheist or communist?
Yes: Go back to start. No: Advance to next heaven blue star.

Would you sell your country's defense secrets?
Yes: Go back to start. No: Advance 6 spaces.

If cutting off any part of your body would give a satanic power, would you do it?
Yes: Go back to start. No: Advance 7 spaces.

To go a little deeper on this...
I noticed something - the game functions according to what most people view religion as - do something good, get closer to heaven/Nirvana/paradise - do something bad, get further away.
In fact, you could have some type of version of this board game for virtually every religion out there!

Islam:

Have you ever been to Mekka?
Yes: Advance 4 spaces. No: Go back 5 spaces.

Do you pray daily?
Yes: Advance 4 spaces. No: Go back 5 spaces.

Do you observe the Ramadan fast?
Yes: Advance 4 spaces. No: Go back 5 spaces.

Hinduism:

Do you lie?
Yes: Go back 3 karma. No: Advance 2 karma.

Do you eat meat?
Yes: Go back 1 karma. No: Advance 1 karma.

Do you tithe one tenth of your income to God?
Yes: Advance 2 karma. No: Go back 2 karma.

Buddhism:

Do you steal?
Yes: Go back 3 spaces. No: Advance 3 spaces.

Do you lie?
Yes: Go back 3 spaces. No: Advance 2 spaces.

Do you have sex outside of marriage?
Yes: Go back 3 spaces. No: Advance 3 spaces.

Judaism:

Do you keep the Sabbath?
Yes: Advance 3 spaces. No: Go back 3 spaces.

Do you commit adultery?
Yes: Go back 2 spaces. No: Advance 3 spaces.

The ironic thing is that Christianity is supposed to transcend this "game", not join in, adding stupid rules like "Thou shalt not sell thy country's defense secrets." The principle being: Christianity is about a relationship, not about rules!

The author of this board game seems to have heard about this somewhere (see the question on "being a good person"), but he completely misses the point, making even that principle part of the game! Whoa.

Funny quote of the month:

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."

- Winston Churchill

Methinks my socialist friend Zakcq will like that quote. ;)